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The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. – Proverbs 26:22
Words have an ability to cut deeper than any knife; through our flesh and bones, down to the core of who we are. They cut through to our soul, gossip makes its way to our heart in damaging and sometimes irreversible ways. When someone spreads rumors or gossip about you, it can feel like poison in your veins, arrows in your back.
Cut open a feather pillow on a windy day. Let the feathers blow and spread with the wind. Now try and pick up all those feathers and put them into the bag and make the pillow exactly the way it used to be. It’s impossible. The same thing is true with rumors. Once they spread, you can never repair their damage, you can never make it right, or the way It used to be, ever again. The damage is done. Like flames, gossip can start off as a small comfort for one or two, but quickly grows out of control, spreading past it’s boundaries, and becomes an all consuming fire, destroying everything in it’s path.
Proverbs 26:20 tells us that fire can only exist if it has something to feed on, something to burn. In the same manner, rumors and gossip can only exist when there are people who will give it fuel to burn. “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.” Verse 21 says, “Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”
Sometimes it’s easy to read these verses and acknowledge the fact that we have been the targets of gossip. That we have been hurt by it, that we know its sting all to well. But do we ever read these verses and apply them to our own lives. Do we let the word of God penetrate our hearts and point out areas where we need correction, or when we have been wrong. Are we often found on the receiving end of the knife, or the giving end? Are we more often being cut, or holding the handle?
In Ephesians 4:3 it says “Try your best to let God’s Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace.” We are called to be the reflection of Christ to this world, we are His representatives, we are His ambassadors, sharing His goodness, mercy, and grace to all we meet. When we give into gossip and rumors the message of Christ is obscured, and so is our ability to show Christ to those around us.
Nothing can kill the unity in the church, a community, family, or friendships, faster than gossip and rumors. If we are to be the church, and the church is supposed to be God’s hands and feet, if we are to show the love of God to this culture and this world, then we need to be unified, and focus on the things that build each other up, and build up the body of Christ as well, not tear it down.
I hope you always remember the damage that can be done with a whisper. I pray you never have to feel that sting, and pray we will less often be the one to deliver that painful blow. Jesus tells us to love God with all when have, and then to love our neighbors as ourselves. But to often, that juicy, too good to keep to ourselves, gossip overrides our ability to remember those words. The next time you’re tempted to share something, or tell someone something about someone else, or hear someone else saying things, I hope you don’t add fuel to that fire. I hope you bring cooling water to help extinguish those destructive flames.
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless – James 1:26
love, live, burn
- k
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a little example of a whisper that got around. in sixth grade someone started saying that i brought a gun to school and was going to shoot someone. It got to my teacher and that teacher called the police/security to search me, my back pack, and my desk. No gun. they then sent me to the office and gave me a one day saturday detention. After that everyone in the class thought tha i did and hid it, and didnt trust me except for a few. That kinda destroyed the trust of my peers at that school. anyway, the point is. dont do it. if you have a bone to pick with a person, dont back bite and do a rumor spreading deal. Pick the bone. dont just scratch at the bone and poke the bone. Take the bone away. Settle what needs to be settled. The best way to handle a situation is head on. If someone starts a rumor, go talk to them. ask them whats up and deal with the situation. Like karebear said, dont fuel the fire. Have the guts to be a firemen and put it out. especially its someone you care about. the from james 1 up there is a great example. on sunday, that was a powerful message. i couldnt find myself doing what i wanted to, and i had no help form three of the 4 corners i had. parents, friends, siblings. Its hard to not spread that super juicy detail that “no one” knows. next time you hear one, ask this qustion. Who did you here that from.” if they say other than the person the rumor is about. dont even listen to it. if it is. ask that person. but stop the rumor first.
“Help will eventually come, why not right now?”
-bassist
Comment by bassist November 19, 2007 @ 1:48 pmOkay I have a question…in my group of friends, there’s always a lot of drama and sometimes (rarely) there’s backstabbing. I know that’s never going to change completely just because of the fact that we’re all tennagers and we’re all human. But is it gossip if you’re telling a friend about something someone did to you that hurt your feelings? For example, if my friend totally ditched me to go hang out with the boy she liked, and I ran off to another friend and said, “Ugh she totally just ditched me to go hang out with him and that really bugs me and I can’t believe she did that….that really hurt my feelings…” is that gossip?
Anyways…I just wanted to thank you Kerry for your message yesterday. I really took that to heart today and I made it my goal not to say anything bad about anyone. Even though I still messed up, that’s my goal for the next couple days, weeks, months, or however long it takes me to reach it. So thanks Kerry.
Comment by Hillary November 19, 2007 @ 3:26 pmHillary, different people may have different opinions on that question. For instance, someone could think (while they’re sharing “gossip” with someone), “no that’s not gossip because it’s about ME.” but, another might say, “it is gossip because it was about the OTHER person, also.” I believe it could be a form of gossip because it wasn’t just about the person who informed her friend of being ditched, but it was also about the one who ditched her friend, so if the girl (that was abandoned)told someone, others may not want to hang around the other because of what they “know” about her.
I know it’s not right to spread rumors about someone from just one bad thing that the person did to someone(well, it’s not right to spread rumors about anybody, period) because it was just one instance and everyone makes at least one mistake in their life(actually, everyone makes multiple mistakes just every day), so how would they know that this is how that person really is, from what they hear from people? You can’t know someone by what others say about them. You have to get to know them before you can really know them. In this way, rumors can be bad for the person who the rumor is about, the person telling the rumor, and also the person on the other end of the line.
Comment by Elisa November 19, 2007 @ 4:20 pmi think a rumor is some one saying something about some one else that might hurt their rep (we are teenagers we dont really have a rep) any way, like in hillary’s example, it might be a rumor it might not be. It could hurt there rep but then again i doesnt matter, who knows. The point is if you are mad, about somethin someone did, tell them get it resolved ( i sound like a broken record) but if you do that as often as you can, it becomes a habit, and then you dont have DRAMA. I would say before you say anything to any one else, say it to the person who did the action. if you hear a rumor be the man (or women in this case) and stop the rumor, stand up for the person.
idk if that helped but its what i got.
“Help will come, why not right now?”
-Bassist
Comment by Bassist November 19, 2007 @ 4:31 pm??????????????????????????????????????????????????
Comment by Bassist November 24, 2007 @ 10:50 pmIT HAS GOTTEN TO A POINT WHERE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, SAY, LOOK LIKE, DRESS LIKE, TYPES OF MUSIC I LIKE, TYPES OF MOVIES I LIKE, TYPES OF BOOKS, GAMES, JOKES I TELL, IM WRONG. EXAMPLE. we went to my grandparents house for gobble gobble day and we got there an i was telling my parents and grandparents about an email i recieved about rearranging words like dormitory or Goerge Bush = He Bugs Gore, any way the end one i think is funny because there are a lot of jokes about mother-in-laws being the she devil, or the (insert bad word here), in this scrabble email it says mother-in-law = woman hitler, i thought it was funny because i hear other jokes about how mother in laws are monsters, but when i said that i started to chuckle and my mom said, “I dont like those and you know that, dont repeat that.” i got really unhappy about that because i was trying to tell them a funny thing and my mom shoots me out of the sky. then yesterday there was a cassette tape that my mom was playing in the car, and it wouldnt switch to the other side, now with the little experience i have had with tapes i figured you have to flip it to the other side to get the other side, i said that once, my mom said you dont have to, okay, then it still didnt work what she was doing so i said jokingly, “like is said you have to flip it”, and she snaps back and says, “NO YOU DONT DAVIS, i have been playing that type for four years.” i didnt talk to her for the rest of the trip home. then at dinner we were having a discussion about the citizen laws of america and she says her point, i say mine, she says a contridictury, then i want to say an example, and i start to and she interrupts and sais that i am wrong, i say i wasnt done and she quites down and i think for about 2 secs about how i want to say my question i get one letter out and she says, its not fair dont try to make it fair, its only fair to us. so i shut up and didnt talk to them for about an hour. here is my question, why is it im always wrong, or not doing what im supposed to do. I know when im right, and i know when im wrong, and i Know i havent been wrong for 2 1/2 months. i know this because i have corrected my self when they said i was wrong. but im still worng
It might not be you who is mistaken, but maybe others are just mistaken. Or maybe you might be mistaken, but just don’t realize it at the time. Perhaps you can try paying close attention to what you are saying and make sure it doesn’t sound rude or offensive. i have a question for you: By “wrong/mistaken” did you mean that the facts were wrong or that it sounded rude or insulting?
Comment by Elisa November 25, 2007 @ 2:30 pmi ment like my facts are right, but ive been wrong for 2 months, i have changed everything i say im just wrong all the time
Comment by guy in far back right corner of stage November 25, 2007 @ 8:45 pmHere’s my advice to you, Davis. I know what you’re going through must be infuriating and difficult and basically just depressing, but take a moment, relax, and look at the situation from a different perspective. Just realize that you can’t expect your mom to be perfect and to always treat you fairly, because as humans we constantly don’t do that. We can’t ever be completely fair. If you can’t talk about it with your mom, then that’s okay. God is giving you these challenges for a reason; he wants to make you stronger and better prepared for other stuff that will come and go in your life. I’m sorry but that’s all I can say. I don’t think you should try to change yourself or the other people in your life. All you can do is trust God.
Comment by Hillary November 26, 2007 @ 2:59 pmthnk u hillary and elisa
Comment by bassist November 27, 2007 @ 1:39 pmOne thing that I have learned through out my high school year is that words can REALLY get to a 15 year old girl. Some words are you love to hear! “I love you!”, “Your Awesome!”, You rock!”. but other words…can really cut deep…. “You suck”, “Your nothing but a loser”. All of these kinds of words i have herd many, many times…But the worst of all is of course, gossip. Here is an example: My boyfriend, Drake and I have been going out for nearly 3 and a half months. And at the beginning of our relationship, we promised not to have sex until marriage. But…thats not enough for my uncle… He was talking to my mom about me and Drake saying that we’re going to be soon-to-be skrew ups. It’s almost like he KNOWS that we’re going to skrew up. And it seems my whole family is just WAITING for me to skrew up…except for my parents! (yay PARENTS!!) any advice?
Comment by Starshine December 13, 2007 @ 8:56 pm“Starshine”-
I know it must be very hard for you, but try not to do anything you’ll regret towards your parents/family. If they believe that you are going to mess up, then thats their problem. Just be true to your word and let them know that you know the right thing to do. Maybe you can ask them why they think that things won’t turn out right between you and Drake. Well, I wish you the best.
Comment by Elisa December 13, 2007 @ 9:01 pm~Starshine~
I had a girlfriend once that i told her that i was a christian, and i did not want to have sex until i was married. I had a friend who i repeatedly told that too, i even had a conversation about what was going to happen if i got pressured into it. 3 months go by, nothin. I dated this girl for 9 Months, my entire freshmen year was set on this girl because i thought she was the one. May 2007, the day before my birthday, 7 days, one week before summer break and… well, i made a mistake.
after school i went over to my friends house and i was getting thrown a party for my birthday, my dad calls i have to go home. My backpack is emptied and there is a note book that my girlfriend wrote in with “sex talk”. and i lost my parents trust for 7 months so far.
what i am trying to say is this. first of all i do not know who you are, but i do know the situation you are in. If you feel that you are having a sexual urge to go a little bit further in a couple of months, tell your boyfriend Drake these words, “I cant go any farther than the relationship status we are at right now.” if he disagrees then break up with him, but remind him of the promise you 2 made. if he agrees, then say. “thank you for understanding.” then slow down. stop kissing or making out, or whatever you feel necessary, point being, i didnt, i had a sexual urge and i tried to stop it, but i didnt try the hardest that i could. Dont make a mistake that you will regret. Dont give your uncle the satisfactory of messing up. Remind him and yourself that you will not have sex until you are married. everyday tell him wether he wants to hear it or not, because he is part of your family, and when you tell him that you wont over and over and over and over agian until he gets sick of hearing it, he will believe you. You have the opportunity to keep the promise that a lot of people struggle with, you have a chance to show that not every teenager has premerital sex. Once you do that, somethin will click in your uncles mind. Dont let them think that you will screw up, because if you let them think that you will mess up, then you most likely will. Instead show them that you wont, remind them that you wont. Let them think that you wont mess up, and you will not mess up. Because right now they think you will, so in the back of your mind a doubt bubble is forming, becuase your family is not supporting you, when that bubble bursts, you can never get it back. Instead of letting them blow that doubt bubble, show them how to empty the soap bottle labeled Doubt. You can show them that You ca be trusted. Because everywhere around you there is seduction, dont let it seduce you, for you are strong, i can already tell becuase you asked for advice. Be strong. Fullfill your promise. You seem very lovable. God loves you. i hope this helps.
Keep your friends close
From a fellow
Comment by Fellow (D.B.A.) December 16, 2007 @ 12:54 amD.B.A.
Thank you Fellow (D.B.A.) and Elisa,it does help. It means alot! But its going to be a hard journey to go on, with everyone looking at me and saying “SKREW UP!” when i didn’t do ANYTHING! But…with you guys cheering me on, i can do almost anything. Expecially with God’s love and strength in my heart. But i guess my Uncle doesn’t understand how much i mean when i say “Not going to have sex until marriage.” Like i said, me and Drkae promised to each other. And i promised to God, my friends, my family and future husband that i will not have sex until marriage. And i intend to keep that promise. Thank you for being there for me Church. It means alot!
God loves you more then anything,
Comment by Starshine December 16, 2007 @ 11:09 am*Starshine*
Starshine,
I know you’ll be able to stick to your word. I have faith in you. So many people care about you and love you. We all know how strong you are. Just keep being you and you’ll be great!!
Much love,
Comment by Elisa December 17, 2007 @ 4:43 pmElisa
Thank you sooooo much Elisa!! Your encouragement means alot!!
God loves you All,
Comment by Starshine December 17, 2007 @ 6:15 pm*Starshine*